Double whammy

I got a settlement from the insurance on my bike. They wrote the thing off can you believe. A 10mph bump on the road and they write it off. I'm not overly concerned, I had it valued recently at £1800 and I got a cheque for £2625, so I think I've scored a bit. The settlement included the deduction of £200 excess, as the accident was deemed to be my fault. Nice. Some dicklicker pulls out in front of me, I fall off, write my bike off, damage my shoulder, ribs, wrist and knees, knacker all my riding gear and I am liable. Anyway, like I said, it was a generous pay off so I guess I should be grateful.

The day after I received the cheque, I get a phone call from the missus. 'Honey, who are we insured with?' she asks. A few minutes into the conversation she informs me that a couple of days prior, she reversed into a car. She got out and inspected it, couldn't see any damage so drove off. Unfortunately, someone saw her do it, as did the owner of the car. Now I guess she should have left her details, but seeing as no damage was done, she didn't. I think I probably would have done the same. In fact, I have done so many times before. Cars bumped into each other, it happens. So, the women rings up and says that her car is badly damaged and it's an insurance job. Great, in a couple of weeks I will have lost a total of 9 years no-claims bonuses, forked out £400 in excess fees and no doubt doubled my insurance premiums. Oh well.

The wife was upset by it all, so me being the good guy I am, I went onto the Interflora website and sent her flowers (same day delivery, extra £10, ta). This seemed to un-upset her briefly. I didn't think at the time, but, she drives into a car, I pay for it, and I send her flowers to make her feel better! I'm such a soft touch. (I checked my bank statement a few days later and they charged me twice as well). To make matters worse, I went to Sainsburys to get my lunch (tuna sweetcorn back on the menu, huzzah) and there was a bint collecting for some charity at the door. Acid Casualties of the 60's or something. I only had an Ayrton on me so told her I'd give her something on the way out. My lunch came to exactly £2, I was given 3 nuggets and a deep sea diver in change, so I had to give the bitch a pound.

I'm not going to have much money left to buy a replacement bike at this rate.