Ads

I hate advertising, all forms of it. Like those adverts you get facing you when you are on a tube platform. 'Get a free holiday*' in 4 foot high letters. And at the bottom in small print '*if you spent £3k a month on our insurance' which is so small you have to risk being twatted in the head by the northbound from Elephant & Castle to read. Television adverts are the worst. There's one that is for some investment fund (I think) when a guy comes home from his job at the call centre to find his child has arrange some alphabet on the floor that spells out 'Palaeontology'. Firstly, no set of alphabet blocks has 3 o's in them. Secondly no offspring from this fucknut would be that intelligent. Thirdly, if it was, he wouldn't be doing crap adverts to make ends meet, he'd have sold the brat to the circus.

I was in the Carp a few weeks ago and the landlord got the remote out to flick from one channel to the next, and that advert with the griller playing drums came on. 'Don't change channel' one of the punters yelled 'this is brilliant. Watch. watch. Wait. This is brilliant. Wait' and when the drumming started, the whole pub guffawed like they had just heard the best-joke-in-the-world-ever™ for the first time.

The plagiarism annoys me too. There are always rip offs of the same idea, for the same product type, different product. Car adverts for example. We had a spell where every car advert was all about longing. There's some skinny prick working at a country club, putting up with all the shit given to him by the rich and clueless. At the end of the day, he gets into his 1 litre Corsa GTi with a stunning prostitute and all the members looking on longingly. Change car model, lowlife job, setting and repeat ad nauseam. There was a load of adverts that had groups of kids singing some rock song over them a while back. Now we are treated to Tom Baker/Little Britain'esque voiceovers for every goddamn product on the market. I would love to know how the ad companies sell these ideas to clients. Like this no doubt.