Swearey guy

There's a junction on Oxford Street that I have to cross every night on the way home. It's a bit of a nightmare this one as when the lights turn green, there are always a bunch of sheep that are in the middle of the road with their Harrods and Hamleys bags that don't seem to understand that the little red fella means don't walk. Nearly every night I have a near miss at this set of lights, with some dumb fanny walking out in front of me. I've adopted a strong arm tactic now and just go for these people and try and frighten the solids out of them. Last night was no different, lights turned green, I hammered the throttle and some bottom feeder walked out in front of me, so I had to slam on brakes. He got a real fright, twitched violently and ran across the road. As he got to the safe side of the road I realised that it was actually Pete the swearey guy from Big Brother. All the way home I was thinking that I should have actually tried to mow him over, I might have made the papers.