Random post of the day (1)

It's my wife's fault. She's pregnant you see, and although, thankfully, she hasn't had any strange cravings like peanut butter & sardine sandwiches or coal & lemon wedges, she absolutely cannot stand the smell of perfume or deodrant. This has kind of upset my rhythm. I arise at about 5:45 am where autopilot kicks in. I shower, brush teeth in shower (makes less mess and prolongs that shower feeling) and once dried, apply a long spray of Lynx under each armpit and (as taught to me as a yoof, but for reasons still unknown) on my chest. I'm not allowed to do this anymore as the smell makes her feel nauseous. I have a can in the downstairs bathroom and tried it there, but she could still smell it. So I have to do it outside. But can I remember to do it? I'll be buggered if I can. Not literally. Today is the third day in a row that I have forgotten and judging by the pong eminating from me on the last two days, I suspect the same will happen. My work colleagues are defintely going to have something to say behind my back if this continues. In the unlikely event that someone is reading this and knows where I sit, I can only apologise and ask you to sign the petition to allow me to shower and spray as before.