Phones4u

My 12 months contract was up on my cellphone this weekend, so I headed into town first thing on Saturday, armed with utility bills, bank statements, DNA sample etc in order to get a spanking new phone and sign my life away for another 12 months. I went to the same shop that I initially got my deal through, and upgraded my phone last year. I knew the process was going to be a painful one, but knowing that I was going to get a new phone, was quite happy to sit through a bit of sales speak. They make you fill out this form where you put down your current contract, your usage, where you went on holiday, what your job is (I always lie, just to screw them up. This year my holiday was aboard a turbot fishing boat in Antartica, and I am currently employed as a beautician). They tell you they ask these questions to offer you a contract that suits your needs, but we all know it is so they can sell off the details to direct marketing companies.

I was happy with my O2 contract. £25 a month for 100 minutes and 200 texts. In the 12 months I have had this tariff, I have never once gone over my allocated texts or minutes. Anyway, the spotty youth comes back with this latest super duper Orange tariff. £35 a month, 500 texts, 500 minutes, plus the phone I want for only £50. 'Hang on spotty youth' I say 'I have just told you that I am happy with O2, I never use 100 minutes, nor 200 texts. Now you are changing network, increasing what is already too much, and charging me an extra tenner a month, plus I have to pay for the new phone'. Is it just me, or does anyone else think that this guy hasn't listened to a word I said and is trying to rip me off. Sensing that I was getting a little snippy, the young man decides to head out the back to discuss this with his manager (read; have a fag and revert to plan B as the fat bloke at his desk isn't as dumb as first suspected).

He comes back with a big grin on his face. 'Because you are a valued customer, we can offer you the same contract but we'll give you the phone for free'. I explained to him the fundamental issues with the offer. Firstly, I am happy with O2, the contract, the cost etc. All I want is a new phone, I am willing to sign up for another 12 months, just give me the goddamn phone. He then tells me that O2 are notoriously bad at upgrades, and I should consider another network 'This Orange deal is the best you will get'. I just thanked the young lad and walked out of the store, after I called him a bullshitter working for a bullshit shop. Come on, I was under stress, I couldn't think of anything witty to say.

I know you can get better deals online, so when I got home I checked a few out, decided on one (away from O2, if they are going to get arsey about upgrades, then they can shove my business) and proceeded to go through with the order. In order to keep my number, I had to get a code from O2 to release my number, so I ring the helpline and get put through to an operator, ask him for the code which he tells me. He then asks if I wouldn't mind telling him why I would like to leave the network, and I explain (leaving out the swear words). He then tells me that I am due an upgrade and they can offer the phone I want, with the same number, same price as before etc. I tell him what happened at the shop and he says I should come to the network directly as the shops are full of it and will cheat and lie to get you to go onto another network. He also said that what Phones4u said about O2 is a lie and could I give him my permission to log the conversation so they can follow it up. Naturally I said yes, gave him the address of the shop and the name of the youth. I hope something comes of it, as I hate being taken for a ride.

Let this be a lesson to us all, speak to the organ grinder, not the monkey. Phones4u are scum and they lie.