McHoldup

A couple of weeks ago I was sent out by the ball and chain to acquire some solids for dinner. I couldn't be arsed to go to the shops and cook something, or wait for a Chinese or a Ruby, so opted for the easy option and went to McDonalds. Being lazier still, I joined the back of the queue in the drive-thru. It took it's time, but I had the radio on and was enjoying a heated debate about the pros and cons of a 4-4-2 over a 4-5-1 formation by a trio of ex-footballers who I barely remember.

After a while, I rounded the corner and was greeted by a young chap, framed by Window #1. Unlike most of the previous cashiers I have dealt with at McD's, he could speak english. He took my order and payment and told me to drive round to Window #3 to collect my WeightWatchers nightmare (not sure what happened to Window #2 by the way). I would have, but the car in front me had not moved an inch since I pulled up to the cashier.

'Busy tonight ' I said
'Yes, busier than normal' he agreed.
'You been on long?' I asked
'About an hour' he said

The car in front still hadn't moved.

'Problems in the kitchen?'
'Don't think so'
'Wonder what the hold up is then?'
'Dunno'

Still no movement form the car in front. An awkward silence of a few seconds passed.

'So how long have you been working here?' I inquired, desperate to fill the gap
'Oh, not long. About a month'

Each question was answered quickly, without a hint of expansion. He appeared not to be skilled in the art of 'chewing shit'.

I looked at the car ahead, willing it to move. It didn't, although he did turn his engine off.

I asked the youth a few more questions, hinting that maybe he should go and check what the problem was. He didn't and seemed happy to watch me get more and more uncomfortable with the situation. Now what I should have done, was pulled the window up, and continue to listen to the radio, but I felt that I had gone too far in conversing and it would have been rude.

Over the course of the next 20 minutes, I established that he was 18, was doing Business Studies at Farnborough College, lived with his parents but was looking at getting a flat with his girlfriend, enjoyed the nightshift because, I quote 'You get to see a lot of fights', enjoyed chart music although he liked to play rock guitar and wanted to start a band, knew every pub in Camberley and thought they were all shit.

After what seemed like a ten-stretch, the car in front moved. I've never been so happy to say goodbye to someone in my life.

Now you might not realise how painful it was, we've all sat on trains, buses, even long haul flights next to someone who starts up a conversation, but you always know in those situations that the destination is getting closer and closer. You can always look out the window for conversation inspiration, go to the toilet , pretend that you are going to the toilet and find another seat, or feign sleep. When you are at Window #1, you are stuck. And they fucked up my order.