Ooo nurse, me helmet
I'm having helmet problems, and it's causing me a great deal of distress. Last weekend I popped into Hein Gericke to pick up a new Foggy mask. The old one had collpased in on itself, and the nose clip had come off. I can't ride without my trusted Foggy. Not only does it keep the visor and my sunglasses mist free, it also serves as a comfort factor. If I don't have my nose squashed, it just don't feel right. There were a few people at the counter so I browsed around the helmets a bit waiting for a gap. I noticed that the stripey helmet I have had my eyes on for some time was still on the shelf, and had been reduced (again) from £119.99 to £89.99. As I've done many times before, I picked it up, had a good look, and put it back on the shelf.
As I did, this rather attractive young shop assistant approached and started to chat to me about the helmet. 'Why don't you try it on?' she suggested. I rejected her kind offer, mumbling something about not having enough money, the wife will kill me etc. Note to self: try not to mention the wife so early in the conversation next time. She said 'Oh come on, it won't harm to try it on, and I bet it will really suit you'. Now normally I hate hard sell by shop staff, but I gave her another quick once over and decided that in this case, I would make an exception. She saw the chink in my armour and started getting quite flirty. Of course she fancied me, I mean, what gorgeous teen babe could resist an overweight, balding (late) thirty-something loser like me? That or she sniffed a sale and the impending departure of 8999 new pence from my wallet. So I left the shop with the helmet (and Foggy) and felt a little better with life.
I've had my old helmet since I've been riding, that's about 3 years now. It's well knackered, the visor is warped letting in wind and insects, the padding inside has degraded and my head rattles about like a marble in an oil drum and it stinks, so I really did need a new one.
I love the new one, I think it's a great design. I read up about it on that internet thing. It's actually a Rossi design. He designed it as a mark of respect for Barry Sheene who died of cancer in 2003, and wore it in the Barcelona GP of that year. The number 7 is Sheene's old number, and the stripes are the Peace flag that Italians are fond of. So it's got a bit of history and made me like it even more (being a Rossi and Sheene fan). That's where the fondness ended.
Now I don't know if anyone out there is a biker, but if you are, you will know that a helmet moulds itself around your head after a period of time. I feel like I have lost an old friend, the helmet which I have just disgarded fitted my oddly shaped head perfectly. This new one doesn't.
- it feels to small and tight,
- the foggy mask doesn't fit properly and the front velcro bit keeps coming off the front of the helmet. When I breathe in it gets stuck to my face and I have to exhale quickly or else I will get suffocated,
- the side walls are too high so when I check to my right or left, instead of seeing vehicular activity alongside me, I see the insides of the helmet,
- it leaves big dent marks on my cheeks, and I have two stripes down my hair when I take it off,
- the mouth piece is too high, so I have to tilt my head downwards if I want to see the dials on my bike,
- my old helmet had two 'd' rings that I fed the strap through to secure it on my head. This one has some clasp thing, that is impossible to release quickly. The first time I wore it, I was halfway between my parking spot and the office before I got the helmet off. I had visions of sitting at my desk with it on,
- My sunglasses don't fit in it properly. Think of a stuffy bookshop proprieter. You know the way his glasses hang off the tip of his nose? Well it's the same for me, except they sit on the bridge of my nose and hang up.
To cap it all, I've just found out that the Peace flag has been adopted by Gay Pride. My helmet is a gay homosexual.
The next time some fit babe tries to sell me something, I must repeat in my head 'remember the gay helmet, remember the gay helmet'.
As I did, this rather attractive young shop assistant approached and started to chat to me about the helmet. 'Why don't you try it on?' she suggested. I rejected her kind offer, mumbling something about not having enough money, the wife will kill me etc. Note to self: try not to mention the wife so early in the conversation next time. She said 'Oh come on, it won't harm to try it on, and I bet it will really suit you'. Now normally I hate hard sell by shop staff, but I gave her another quick once over and decided that in this case, I would make an exception. She saw the chink in my armour and started getting quite flirty. Of course she fancied me, I mean, what gorgeous teen babe could resist an overweight, balding (late) thirty-something loser like me? That or she sniffed a sale and the impending departure of 8999 new pence from my wallet. So I left the shop with the helmet (and Foggy) and felt a little better with life.
I've had my old helmet since I've been riding, that's about 3 years now. It's well knackered, the visor is warped letting in wind and insects, the padding inside has degraded and my head rattles about like a marble in an oil drum and it stinks, so I really did need a new one.
I love the new one, I think it's a great design. I read up about it on that internet thing. It's actually a Rossi design. He designed it as a mark of respect for Barry Sheene who died of cancer in 2003, and wore it in the Barcelona GP of that year. The number 7 is Sheene's old number, and the stripes are the Peace flag that Italians are fond of. So it's got a bit of history and made me like it even more (being a Rossi and Sheene fan). That's where the fondness ended.
Now I don't know if anyone out there is a biker, but if you are, you will know that a helmet moulds itself around your head after a period of time. I feel like I have lost an old friend, the helmet which I have just disgarded fitted my oddly shaped head perfectly. This new one doesn't.
- it feels to small and tight,
- the foggy mask doesn't fit properly and the front velcro bit keeps coming off the front of the helmet. When I breathe in it gets stuck to my face and I have to exhale quickly or else I will get suffocated,
- the side walls are too high so when I check to my right or left, instead of seeing vehicular activity alongside me, I see the insides of the helmet,
- it leaves big dent marks on my cheeks, and I have two stripes down my hair when I take it off,
- the mouth piece is too high, so I have to tilt my head downwards if I want to see the dials on my bike,
- my old helmet had two 'd' rings that I fed the strap through to secure it on my head. This one has some clasp thing, that is impossible to release quickly. The first time I wore it, I was halfway between my parking spot and the office before I got the helmet off. I had visions of sitting at my desk with it on,
- My sunglasses don't fit in it properly. Think of a stuffy bookshop proprieter. You know the way his glasses hang off the tip of his nose? Well it's the same for me, except they sit on the bridge of my nose and hang up.
To cap it all, I've just found out that the Peace flag has been adopted by Gay Pride. My helmet is a gay homosexual.
The next time some fit babe tries to sell me something, I must repeat in my head 'remember the gay helmet, remember the gay helmet'.
posted by SkyBlueSnowy @ 9:39 am
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