Tramp tales

On my way home last night I stopped at a cash machine. There was a gentleman-of-the-street sitting next to the machine. When I finished my transaction he said 'Do you have any spare change'? I said I didn't have any on me, and he said 'But I've just seen you take some money out'. 'Sadly this machine doesn't dispense coins, and I'm not going to give you a Pavarotti am I? '. Cheeky bleeder.

My favourite encounter with a (excuse the lack of political correctness) smackhead tramp begging scumbag was when one approached me and asked if I could spare some money so he could buy drugs. I admired his honesty and gave him a couple of quid.

A mate told me this over a beer once. He was going into Pret one lunchtime and a guy bugged him for some change outside. Being a decent guy, my mate told him he wouldn't give him money, but if he was hungry, he'd buy him lunch. The beggar asked for a Latte and a brie, avocado and basil sandwich.