Noises

Whenever my missus hurts herself, she shouts 'Ow', just like they do in Enid Blyton books. This goes for any pain she suffers, but the volume and repetition of the word is relative to the amount of pain suffered.

I discharge different sounds depending on the situation. For instance, if I am cold, I will say 'Ooo, brrrr' then shudder my shoulders. If it's hot, I'll puff my cheeks and exhale sharply. If I bang my toe / shin / ankle / elbow / head, it's normally followed by a short sharp 'shit'. If I cut myself (this happens so often I'm sure my wife thinks I'm a self harmer), a gasp of 'fuck' is not far behind. If I think I have hurt myself but there is no pain, I suck air through my teeth, adopt a pained expression which disipates gradually as my brain realises that there isn't anything to worry about.

On Monday, I discovered that I squeal like a girl when I burn my nut sack on the oil radiator in the bathroom.