You couldn't script it

Last Thursday evening the traffic coming out of London was horrendous, bumper to bastard bumper all the way through the centre. When I was just coming out of Kensington, I noticed flashing blue lights up ahead and naturally assumed that there had been an accident and that's what was causing the queues. As I approached, the inside lane had been coned off and there was a line of cars within the coned lane. A policeman was standing in the road and as I got closer, he pointed at me and waved me into the queue. I thought that it must be some sort of security check that happens from time to time. I stopped, and this fella with a fluorescent bib and a clipboard approached me and said 'We are doing a survey for Transport For London and wondered if you mind answering a few questions'. You could have knocked me down with a feather. I said 'Do I have to?' and he said I didn't, but it would help them improve the traffic flow through the city if I did. I said 'I will offer you this: coning off a third of one of the busiest roads in the northern hemisphere at peak hour to conduct a survey is precisely the opposite of how to improve the traffic flow through the city'. How stupid are these people?