Snotty bitch

I was in John Lewis earlier today trying to find where my wife was. She said she was just nipping to Woollies and wouldn't be five minutes. So 45 minutes later I ended up in John Lewis looking for her. I was walking past the perfume counters and some over-made up tart approached me and said 'Are you looking to spoil your wife for Xmas, we have some lovely perfumes that I'm sure you'll love', then winked at me. I replied 'You're picking on the wrong fella me dear, I can't tell a good perfume from a puddle of cat piss'. Before flicking her hair, pushing her snout skywards and turning her back on me, she said in a snidey voice 'Your wife is so lucky to have you as a husband'. One does try one's best.