Things we say

Anyone reading this that has gone through the whole parenting thing will know that you tend to live in a perpetual zombie state. Anything you do from the hours of 9pm to 5am are generally done on impulse, and trying to remember what you did or said the night before is hoping for too much.

The baby has a cold at the moment so has been sleeping in our bed (that way we can squirt drugs down his throat without getting cold). He was particularly whiney last night, so the missus upped sticks and went to sleep on the couch. She told me this morning that during the night I got came downstairs and said to her 'I'm going for a piss, if you hear a thud it will be the kid'. It was 'my turn' to get a bottle the other night. I got out of bed in my underpants to go downstairs and do the honours. In a sleepy voice, with no hint of irony or humour she mumbled 'put some clothes on, you'll scare the cats'. We're a loving family.